Thankful

Survived treatment number #2.
Update:
I had my second treatment on Friday, but was unable to finish my treatment. my blood count is low due to the previous treatment, so the doctors changed my treatment and extended one more treatment (in 4 weeks). Friday was ok with usual side effects of vomiting, fatigue, and diarreah. I began to feel better on Sunday and today I had more energy.

For the past week I have been very thankful for the countless expressions of love, help, and encouragement I have received from friends, family, and even total strangers. It is a strange thing to be the object of special attention because of an illness. It’s hard to describe, but it is a combination of being encouraging, humbling, and sometimes wonderful. Why do people go out of their way to visit me, pray for me, call me, or provide support? Sure, there are plenty of days when I need help in those ways. But there aren’t any days when I deserve it!

It seems to me that having a serious medical issue is just one of a number of struggles people have. Telling people you are sick evokes a certain amount of shock and sympathy in today’s culture, but it isn’t necessarily a more “important” struggle than the others. People struggle with loneliness, financial difficulty, strained relationships with a spouse or family member, the loss of a job, separation from a loved one in the military, and the list goes on. It’s easy to think about people who are struggling in those ways, but never really contemplate what it is like to be in their shoes walking through their struggles. Every person has his or her own battles that they are fighting day in and day out, and to a certain degree those battles go unnoticed by those around them. Part of what I have been learning through my struggle with cais that I need to be more aware of the struggles of those around me and show them the same compassion and love that others have shown me.

But in the end, the support and encouragement of others can only go so far. Everyone needs an ultimate, permanent solution for their struggles. You can ignore or distract yourself from your struggle for a time, but eventually you will come back to realizing that your struggle still remains unsolved. The answer lies within you and noone else. We have to do what ultimately makes us happy- no matter what that is.

I am eternally grateful for all of the support.. I am even more grateful for my old friends who have reached out to me during this time.. I love you all..and for new friends I have made through this ordeal. I am so blessed. And I cant say enough about my family.. It is a godsend that I have such an enormous, yet extremely close family. I have understood what it is to be a friend and have also cried a tear or two when people whom i thought were my friends turned out not to. People's kindness, heart, and generosity show when they are faced to do something that may be hard and not selfish.

Anywho, that is the big THOUGHT of the day.

Heading to back to DC tomorrow- been away for over 3 weeks. Pebbles and Bambam (My two cats) miss us. I am sure Max is sick of them already :p

Side note:
My mom got Eliana to sit all by herself! She sits and plays with toys now. Mom is so happy and cant stop saying that I spoil her rotten and need to make her exercise.. maybe it's true.. yes, she is spoiled rotten, but who cares? she's my little miracle and I can spoil her all I want.