Locks of Love Certificate

Hello!
Esther and I received our Certificate of Appreciation from Locks of Love! yay!.
See certificate below: Everyone should think about doing this at least once in their lives.. it is so rewarding and you have the opportunity to try out different hair cuts.

Certificate of Appreciation

This is Esther's: (TB Uploaded)


Also, our friend Reynaldo shaved his head in solidarity with our cause.. Si se puede! I am going to steal United Farmworkers slogan. ha!

I dont know how to rotate the picture LOL

Nature vs. Nurture

Being cooped up in my house for countless days has made my brain go on overdrive. Naturally, I have been given a lot of thought about a lot of things.. and watched a lot of movies. If you read my blog regularly, you know that I am currently into foreign films. For the record, I have always been into foreign films, but that is what I seem to watch these days.. Perhaps because I have a desire to go traveling, but am unable to.. or just because I enjoy them.. either way.. I have watched some phenomenal ones. Perhaps I will dedicate a blog post on reviewing all the films I have watched.

Back to my conversations. I had a conversation with a dear friend about nature vs. nurture with regards to children. As many of you know, I have always dreamt of having a big family- a family filled with many kids. The sad reality is that I will probably be unable to have more biological children, but I am very open to adoption. My conversation with my friend discussed the difference between an adopted and biological child. We came to the conclusion that it would depend on the age of the adoption and that you can love your biological child just as much as an adoptive one. I know that some, if not most of you reading this blog may disagree. But I will lay out my experience thus far.
First, I no longer have any recollection of pregnancy or birth. My ten months of pregnancy and the birth of Eliana are a faint memory. My body is back to my pre pregnancy state and the only reminder that I ever had a child is the scar on my belly.
Second, the first 12 weeks of Eliana's life were hard!.. between suffering from hormonal imbalance, post pardum depression (that's for another post), sleepless nights, and feeling like a personal milking machine (You mom's know what I am talking about)- there was not a lot of bonding going on. I loved her, of course, but I loved the child that I was getting to know.. the baby in my arms that depended on me for survival. It felt great to be wanted and needed in a way that no one ever needed me before. But I truly fell in love with her through the daily interactions with her. The first giggle.. first smile...the tugging of my hair.. little everyday things.
The love for the child grows and is not instantaneous. It's through the daily mundane rituals that happen. I feel that you can love a biological and adoptive child the same way if you engage in the same bonding- which is why I feel that if you are able to receive an adoptive child at a young age, you are able to build the same bond and love with no difference.

I know you biologists, psychologists, and anthropologists out there will give me the schlep of biology, but this is just my experience and the experience of my aunts and cousins who have adopted children at a very young age. I have also heard the argument that people like to see their own reflection in their children.. yes, but often these children look nothing like their parents and the personalities are also very different.

The other day at a mom's group I met a woman with her son. he was 10 weeks old. He was beautiful, cheerful- a complete delight. The mom looked enamored by him- she could not stop talking about his milestones and abilities. As I was just about to say that he looked like her, she told us that her son was not breastfed because he was adopted. The interaction of that mother with that baby was absolutely no different than the interactions between any of the other mother's and babies.

In this day in age there are no true traditional families. I guess because all I wanted was to be a mom regardless of how I became one that I look at adoption as such a loving and selfless thing to do.
I am loving being a mother to Eliana and I hope I live a long life to be a witness to her life- but I also hope I have the opportunity to give Eliana siblings- in whatever form them come.

Til next rant..

Update- DC and Snow!

We are back in DC and have not left the house since we arrived from Miami. What we see from our home window is lots and lots of snow! I also heard that we are supposed to get more snow tomorrow! fun!. Max and Danja were without power last night and all bundled up trying to stay warm. We were lucky that our power did not go out! We watched lots of netflix movies though- lots and lots and lots of French movies!. I will be fluent any day now.. NOT! lol


Eliana is doing well. We are practicing sitting up and rolling over. I have to show my mother that I can teach her to do things as well :p

We have been so blessed by the kind actions of people. Yesterday, Ana, the lady who helps me with household chores came by to make us food. So sweet! She made lots of tacos and salsa and beans and left me a ton of food that I can freeze. She is so sweet and kind. She has taken a liking to Eliana- She says she is Eliana's second grandmother. :-) But who doesn't love Eliana? I am not saying because she is mine, but you cant help but fall in love with her from the moment you meet her!.

My dear friend Reynaldo Shaved his head in solidarity. Will post his picture on my next posting.

As far as my health, I have been feeling weak and tired (the usual) but also having pretty intense migraines. I hate migraines- they totally debilitates you completely. You cant sleep, eat, or drink. I am thinking about checking out acupuncture and herbal remedies soon. I went to see my friend Karina when I was trying to get pregnant and throughout my pregnancy. I think I will return to see if acupuncture can help with my migraines and well being in general.
I have also been thinking of doing a detox. I have to check with my doctor if that is ok with my current treatment for anemia, but this whole process is about detoxifying my body of all the bad it has, right?

Thankful

Survived treatment number #2.
Update:
I had my second treatment on Friday, but was unable to finish my treatment. my blood count is low due to the previous treatment, so the doctors changed my treatment and extended one more treatment (in 4 weeks). Friday was ok with usual side effects of vomiting, fatigue, and diarreah. I began to feel better on Sunday and today I had more energy.

For the past week I have been very thankful for the countless expressions of love, help, and encouragement I have received from friends, family, and even total strangers. It is a strange thing to be the object of special attention because of an illness. It’s hard to describe, but it is a combination of being encouraging, humbling, and sometimes wonderful. Why do people go out of their way to visit me, pray for me, call me, or provide support? Sure, there are plenty of days when I need help in those ways. But there aren’t any days when I deserve it!

It seems to me that having a serious medical issue is just one of a number of struggles people have. Telling people you are sick evokes a certain amount of shock and sympathy in today’s culture, but it isn’t necessarily a more “important” struggle than the others. People struggle with loneliness, financial difficulty, strained relationships with a spouse or family member, the loss of a job, separation from a loved one in the military, and the list goes on. It’s easy to think about people who are struggling in those ways, but never really contemplate what it is like to be in their shoes walking through their struggles. Every person has his or her own battles that they are fighting day in and day out, and to a certain degree those battles go unnoticed by those around them. Part of what I have been learning through my struggle with cais that I need to be more aware of the struggles of those around me and show them the same compassion and love that others have shown me.

But in the end, the support and encouragement of others can only go so far. Everyone needs an ultimate, permanent solution for their struggles. You can ignore or distract yourself from your struggle for a time, but eventually you will come back to realizing that your struggle still remains unsolved. The answer lies within you and noone else. We have to do what ultimately makes us happy- no matter what that is.

I am eternally grateful for all of the support.. I am even more grateful for my old friends who have reached out to me during this time.. I love you all..and for new friends I have made through this ordeal. I am so blessed. And I cant say enough about my family.. It is a godsend that I have such an enormous, yet extremely close family. I have understood what it is to be a friend and have also cried a tear or two when people whom i thought were my friends turned out not to. People's kindness, heart, and generosity show when they are faced to do something that may be hard and not selfish.

Anywho, that is the big THOUGHT of the day.

Heading to back to DC tomorrow- been away for over 3 weeks. Pebbles and Bambam (My two cats) miss us. I am sure Max is sick of them already :p

Side note:
My mom got Eliana to sit all by herself! She sits and plays with toys now. Mom is so happy and cant stop saying that I spoil her rotten and need to make her exercise.. maybe it's true.. yes, she is spoiled rotten, but who cares? she's my little miracle and I can spoil her all I want.

Locks of Love

Many have shown interest in Locks of Love and some wonder exactly what the organization does and how it uses the hair people donate. There is a wonderful documentary about this that I will try to find and post, but til then:

In a nutshell:
Locks of love is a NGO that provides wigs to kids suffering from long term medical hair loss from things like cancer and other diseases. Their mission (from their website) is to restore a sense of self, confidence, and  normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails (like the ones my sister and I donated) to provide a high quality prosthetic to children. The children receive the wig free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on need.

Anyway, if you want to see what they do in action, there is a very nice documentary on HBO called: Locks of Love: The Kindest Cut. Here is the link:

 http://www.hbofamily.com/apps/schedule/ScheduleServlet?ACTION_DETAIL=DETAIL&FOCUS_ID=618249&CHANNEL=302

I will post a copy of our certificate when we receive it.

The website goes on to say:

Benefits To Children The children who receive these hairpieces have lost more than their hair; they suffer from a loss of self. Many children have been teased by classmates and/or embarrassed by the attention they receive because of their hair loss. They often will withdraw from normal childhood activities such as swimming, going to the mall or even playing with their friends. While wearing a hairpiece is certainly not a cure for these children, it can help restore some of the normalcy to their everyday lives that most of us take for granted. It is our goal to help provide a foundation on which they can begin to rebuild their self-esteem. (isnt that the sweetest thing- Sonia's input here!). Why We Are Needed There are several problems facing children who suffer long-term medical hair loss. Most wigs sold by retailers are made to fit adult heads, and are much too big for children to wear. They often require the use of tape or glue to keep them from falling off, and these adhesives can burn or irritate the scalp. Often, the styles of adult wigs are not age-appropriate and synthetic wigs can mat and frizz with excessive styling. The hair prosthetics Locks of Love provides are custom-made from donated ponytails for each child’s head. They retail between $3,500 to $6,000. The hairpiece forms a vacuum seal, like a suction cup, and does not require the use of tape or glue. Only the wearer of the hairpiece may remove it, by breaking the vacuum seal at the temples. Children can dismiss insecurities about classmates pulling off their hairpiece, or losing it at recess. They can swim, shower and do gymnastics – in short, they can be kids again. Each hairpiece is made from real human hair, and arrives long, so the recipient may style it to fit their face.

Surviving 1st Treatment

I survived my first treatment! One down, hopefully only a few to go.
I was given my treatment on Thursday and was home by Thursday afternoon. The nurse said the side effects would vary depending on the person's immunity and overall well being. One nurse jokingly said it would feel like my first trimester of pregnancy and I nervously laughed.
I got home and had a light meal with my family and watched netflix movies. For a few minutes, I thought to myself that this might not be that bad. I felt exhausted and dizzy, which is to be expected.

Morning brought exhaustion and fatigue and the all too familiar nausea and diarreah (sorry- too much TMI. for those with weak stomachs, you may skip this paragraph).  The nurse gave me some anti-nausea medication which curved the nausea-ness, but not the diarreah!.  Thursday-Saturday were a big blur.. exhaustion, sleepiness, fatigue, and diarreah were the theme. I did not vomit thanks to the anti-nausea medication and mother nature. Even while pregnant, I never threw up when nauseous, so this was no different. As the days progressed I grew more and more depressed, a normal reaction to the medication, but was thankful that I did not suffer from mental confusion or loony-ness.  I am already looney as is! Sunday, however, was another story. The entire day I felt extreamly tired, irritable, depressed, and very nauseous. I stayed in bed all day and did not leave my room. Poor Eliana did not see her mommy that day.
Monday was a much better day. Still suffering from diarreah, but all other symptoms subsided. For the first time, I woke up at 11am and had the energy to drive to Publix to pick up formula for Eliana. Success!

I forgot to post that the day before my treatment  Esther and I went to the salon and chopped off our hair. My doctor told me that I should expect some hair loss and maybe complete hair loss. Before any of this ever happened, Esther and I talked about donating our hair to Locks of Love- an organization that collects human hair and makes wigs for children who suffer from Cancer. Naturally, we found that this was the perfect opportunity to donate our hair and I wanted to do it before I began to lose it. I dont think I would handle the loss of my long locks. Better to chop off and donate to a good cause.
Below are pictures from our day at the salon:

Our hair looks a lot a like right?

goodbye hair!

a whole 11 inches!

Esther donated 13 inches!

Short hair!

She is a trooper.. she hates short hair!

It's ON!

I am going to write throughout my first  treatment appointment today…not because I have anything particularly wonderful to write about, but because the One Tree Hill episode I was going to watch didn’t download in time. So I guess my loss is your gain!  

8:10AM - Waiting Room
I have always liked the saying, “the simpler the better.” Details are usually good and necessary, but sometimes they are not helpful. In many ways, that is the case for me today. If I start thinking about the details of what this treatment will (or will not) accomplish or what my side effects might (or might not) manifest I will go crazy. But I will handle the situation if I think of it this way: I have something wrong with me and will take medicine to make me feel better. The medicine may make me sick at first, but it will make me feel better in the long run.  

8:30AM - Treatment Room
I met with my Doctor and several nurses, who outlined: 1) what medications would be administered, 2) what potential side effects, and 3) what to do once I am released. Shortly after my briefing, I was escorted to the treatment room. Walking into the treatment room for the first time was a surreal. There were about a dozen recliners throughout the room. Most of them are occupied by patients who are sleeping or reading while getting their chemo drugs through an IV. It’s sad and comforting to think that all of these people are dealing with some kind of cancer as well. As much as I wanted to bring Eliana with me, it is good that she stayed home with auntie Esther. Too many germs in a hospital. 

9:00AM - Treatment Room
I am finally received my first drug: IL-2.  The nurses will dispense this drug via an injection followed by a bag of IV to hydrate me.  The room is full of women, all ranging in age and race. The two ladies to the right of me are in for breast cancer and the lady to the right of me in in for colon cancer. Ms. Colon cancer (that's what we will call her) brought a cooler full of food! Mental note for next time. Being me, i started a conversation with the ladies to the right of me. One was on her 4th Chemo treatment and the other on her 5th- Chemo professionals. I asked them about side effects, their families, etc. kept me occupied. :-)
 

9:20AM - Treatment Room
I just started my second drug: IFN-Alpha .Did not take much time at all. Still chatting it up with the girls and texting with my sister. Eliana ate her breakfast and is taking  a nap.

9:30AM - Treatment Room
My last drug- I cant remember what it was because I was a bit loopy at this point. it's on my chart. will edit when I figure out what it was.  I believe it was GM-CFS (edited)

10:45AM - The Car
We’re finally on our way home. My mother was more nervous than I was, but we made it through.  I’m feeling fine so far - just a little tired. The nurses said it would probably be 4 hours or so before I feel significant side effects.

Home
Though this has been a long and busy day thus far, it has been so encouraging and humbling to know that many people are praying for me. My family and true friends  have given me an overwhelming sense of peace and joy that can only come from having people that care for me. Even if I have not told you in person, I appreciate all the notes of encouragement, the kind words, the emails, calls, texts, prayers, etc that you have given me. I especially appreciate those friends and family that have been courageous enough to reach out to me and allowed me to vent and talk about my disease. 


Til the next post, 

Scar

A grey day in February
Some flecks of white, but mostly brown
Purple surprises riding in on a nerve
Begins to excite you before it settles down

It's after the knives and the sutures and needles
I'm left with an arrow that points at my heart

I call it the seat of my sentimental sorrow
Gone seems to be one of the sum of my parts

And the night is cold
As the coldest nights are
There's a wise woman
She comes from an evening star
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow your scar

A man I knew once said he wanted to see me
I said I'd been sick but was on the mend
I told him a few of the overall details
He said: That's too bad
And he's never called me again

What a gift in disguise that poor little puppy
So scared of misfortune and always on guard
A big man will love you
Even more when you're hurtin'
And a really big man
Loves a really good scar

Cause the dawn breaks
And it's breaking your heart
There's a wise woman
She sits at the end of the bar
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow your scar

A grey day in February
Some flecks of white, but mostly brown
The world has tilted but
The world has expanded
And the world has turned
My world upside down

Cause the night is warm and all full of stars
There's a wise woman
She's moved right into my heart
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow
Follow your scar

[English translation of Gaelic:]

Run with the red deer
And sing with the wind
The magic lasts
And meaning will follow
The scar is God given
As a sign for your life
Strength from your ancestors
And through your own mouth
Strength from memory
Like a tree on the wind
Show me your scar
And I will make it better

41 Places to go in 2011

Folks:
Enjoy your loved one and try to travel to a nice place with them in 2011. I dont know if I will have the pleasure of doing any travel this year. Between my illness and the debt being incurred to help pay for my illness, we probably wont have any opportunity to travel this year. It's too bad, traveling has always been a highlight of my year.
I thought about all the traveling Ive done throughout the years when I read this article in the paper:
41 Places to go in 2011. Although many of the places I have been to are on the list.. there are many that I have not been too.

Someday.. hopefully

http://travel.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/travel/09where-to-go.html

Green Light

Today I received news from my doctor that I can start my treatment as early as Thursday. We submitted my medical records to the National Institute of Health on Friday and I received a call from them today confirming what my doctor in Miami recommended.

Earlier today I went to get blood drawn out and to do one last "check up" before I start my treatment. drum roll please... it's on now!.

The doctor again told me today that I should expect serious side effects such as: nausea, diarrhea, flu like symptoms, mental confusion, and hair loss. The nurse today jokingly said it would feel like my first trimester of pregnancy times 12. ha! not funny!. The only side effect that I am obsessing over is my hair loss. My sister told me my face was to fat to carry a face with no hair (NOT NICE!). I jokingly told her that I was going to put a tattoo on my bald head (I got this idea from Debi!).
Don't worry folks, I will give you all a play by play of my treatment while at the hospital and take before and after pictures (I am told I may lose up to 15-20 pounds- too bad I am back to my pre pregnancy weight already.. otherwise I would be psyched!).

Please send positive thoughts my way.. The power of positive thoughts is a very strong one.

Sunny Miami and Tests, Tests and Tests

 Eliana and I arrived in Miami on Thursday morning and we were welcomed by a very busy and chaotic day. From the minute we landed in Miami, we were running around nonstop.  My mother, Eliana and I went straight from the airport to the Sylvester Cancer Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital in downtown Miami for some appointments and tests.  Traffic was the usual Miami chaos and we barely made my appointments. 
On Thursday, I got two tests done: a spiral ct scan and a sonogram. 

A spiral (or helical) CT scan is a new kind of CT. During a spiral CT, the x-ray machine rotates continuously around the body, following a spiral path to make cross-sectional pictures of the body.  The doctor told me that the benefits of spiral CT are:

• It can be used to make 3–dimensional pictures of areas inside the body;
• It may detect small abnormal areas better than conventional CT; and
• It is faster, so the test takes less time than a conventional CT which is fantastic because I am claustrophobic!

The ct scan was very neat! very state of the art and way better than the conventional Ct scan where you lay in a tube for up to an hour. 

The sonogram is used to assess the tumor and to provide a better understanding of its size and grade, along with the biopsy that I already did. 

The radiologists confirmed an enlarged lymph node which could mean a spread of the cancer or a different kind of cancer altogether. Clearly that kind of news freaked me out just a tad. I was happy that I would see the oncologist on Friday. 

Both tests took roughly about an hour and a half and we were on our way home by late afternoon. Eliana behaved very well and did not give my mother much trouble. I spent the rest of the evening catching up with my parents. We sat and watched the season premier of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.  I tried to put Eliana down early as I anticipated a very busy day on Friday. 

On Friday, We headed back to the Cancer Center to meet with our main doctor and perhaps other doctors at the center. The doctor I met with reviewed all of my tests and confirmed that I have an enlarged lymph node and that there is a concern that the cancer either spread or that I may have renal lymphoma. Either way, I needed more tests. I proceeded to spend the next 3 hours doing more tests!- more blood work, more x-rays, more check-ups. I felt like a medical Ginny pig!.  


3 hours and world of pain later, the doctor sat me down and began to explain my condition and next steps. We wouldn't know if I was strong enough for immunotherapy until Saturday when he would receive all the results of the tests. The fact that I am an otherwise healthy person works for and against me.  The good news is that I am strong enough to fight the cancer and to respond to treatment at a rather quick pace- the bad news is that because I have a high metabolism and I am healthy, my cancer cells are multiplying at a higher and faster speed than most. In other words- time is of the essence. 


The doctor also suggested that I get a second opinion at the National Cancer Institute at NIH. They are the creators of the immunotherapy and are the cutting edge center for everything cancer. He has a colleague that I could speak with and would provide me with a very quick second opinion. The doctor wants to start treatment as early as next week. He suggests:  a round of chemotherapy and two rounds of immunotherapy. If immunotherapy is successful (a 50 percent chance), then in theory the cancer would be gone and I would be good as new. If immunotherapy does not work, then we risk the cancer spreading and we would need to decide and take next steps.


I am not thinking about the what if it doesn't work.. so we will go with the positive 50 percent for now. 


That's all the information for now. Will know more by the end of the weekend. It is all hitting home like a wall of bricks. I could start treatment as early as next week. Scared, but anxious to start a treatment.


"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the only one who gets burned." Buddha.

Quote

"everyday above ground is a great day"... let's see who can guess who said this without googling it.
lol

Fertility Drugs and Cancer

I want to share information that I gather as I learn about possible causes of my cancer. It is true that it is likely that it is believed that cancer runs in my family. Duh!. If you know the Molina clan, cancer is everywhere.  But there is another likely culprit- Fertility drugs. There is a lot of noise out there in cyberspace where the drug companies try to tell us that these drugs are not linked to any cancer, etc. My oncologist, however, as well as the National Cancer Institute at NIH say otherwise. 

There have been many studies that report an association between fertility drug use and invasive cancers: Ovarian, hotchkins, and others. The use of fertility drugs was associated with an increase for a number of cancers especially malignant tumors. All have associated with use of a drug called Clomiphere.  There is also another study linking increase of cancer and the use of HCG.

 I, of course, took both drugs. I am doing lots of research on this topic and working emailing everyone I can think of to get to the bottom of this.  I will keep you all posted. In the meantime, if you are thinking of using these drugs, please read the fine line carefully and be careful. 

Update

Hi all. Quick update:
Tomorrow I am getting some blood work and on Thursday we are heading to Florida. In Florida, I will undergo some further testing and have a consultation with my doctor. The hope is to move quickly so I anticipate starting my first treatments very soon.  I am a little scared, but anxious to start my treatments and to stop feeling so god damn tired all of the time.

I was reading that there is a high chance that I may lose my hair with my treatments. My friend told me that we are going to order the best wigs so I can style a new hairdo and hair color every day of the week. It will be my new couture accessory. What do you think? Imagine- short and blond on Monday and long and red on Tuesday. I think that would be kind of fun. 


My sister in law showed me the dearest children's books from France: Martine that she bought on Amazon.fr.  I went to Amazon.fr. to buy a few of them for my friend who teaches her kids French as a third language.  I could not resist and bought myself a few of them. They are just so adorable and I figured it would also help me with my French studies.  Take a look: They are adorable. Do only French girls still want to be ballerinas? When I was a little girl, I dreamt of being a ballerina. What do little girl in the US dream of being these days? Snooki? lol


 http://www.amazon.fr/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_16?__mk_fr_FR=%C5M%C5Z%D5%D1&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=gilbert+delahaye&sprefix=gilbert+delahaye


That reminds me, I didnt discuss here my thoughts on the movie The Black Swam. As many of you know, I am obcessed with Swan Lake and Tchaikovsky in general. I am girl that watches the nutcracker every..single..year.. and that watches swan lake everytime it is on television. I thought the movie was just OK. Natalie Portman did an OK job too- not great.. They really should have casted women who KNEW how to dance and had more grace. The plot was decent, but I couldnt help but think that the average viewer would not understand the nuances unless you really knew and understood what The Swan Lake was all about. But maybe I am mistaken. 
The movie brought me back memories of the last time I went to see the Ballet Swan Lake. It was a dream come true: I had the pleasure and luxury of watching the St Petersburg Ballet perform Swan Lake at the Bolshoi Theater in Moscow. It was truly a dream come true and an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. I hope to someday take Eliana to the Bolshoi  theater to watch a ballet. I am sure Danja and Vania would be happy to join us! :-)

Lazy Sunday

I had plans to go shopping for a new bed and to catch some great sales, but it rained all day here in Washington DC and I did not want to take Eliana out in the rain- poor baby just got better and I wasnt about to expose her to the elements. Instead, we stayed home all day and watched movies and online shopped. I do, however need to buy a new bed as I am sleeping on a bare mattress (it is better than the fold out couch I was sleeping on before...long story.. for another posting).

I will probably head to Florida sometime this week to get the rest of my tests done and to hopefully begin some sort of treatment. What we are leaning to is immunotherapy. If you have never heard of it, dont worry, I had not heard of it either. This youtube link helps understand it a little.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76vznHtOyq4

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all my friends and family.  My family convinced me that I needed to look at the bright side of things and to look forward to 2011.  I made myself get out of bed yesterday and be productive. My brother and his family came over to spend New Years Eve with us.  We wanted to spend a quiet evening at home and I prepared an Italian feast for dinner. My mother would be so proud. She is the best cook of Italian food. I grew up eating all delicious pastas and Mediterranean meat dishes.

I covered the entire District of Columbia looking for the key ingredients for my NYE meal: Panchetta, Prosciutto, Branzino Fish, the perfect baguette.  You can see the finish product from the picture below:

This was the Antipasto. Prosciutto, Roma tomatoes, mozzarella, baguette, panchetta, and fresh basil. Delish!.

This is Branzino Fish with Fennel, Panchetta, Lemon, Thyme, and other spices. It was actually pretty good and light. Mom would be so proud.

Side was Smashed Potatoes with a vinaigrette and spices.  So yummie

Dessert was Lemon Meringue Pie (two of them because Danja also made one), brownies, and chocolate chip cookies. Sugar Coma.

I also made this yummie Shrimp Bisque..  All was made from scratch. I wasnt kidding about the cooking thing. It really kept me busy and it felt good to create something and make it look so pretty. I should really have dinner parties, but not many people visit me these days. On that topic, a dear friend suffering from cancer sent a very nice email today. Some of the content I will post below:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.  They come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.  They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it, it is real.  But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

The above message rings true to my sister from another mother- you know who you are. We have known each other for a very long time, have gone through hell and back together, have not spoken for years and yet reconnected like we have never been apart.. and during these challenging times, you have been a friend..